{"id":1018,"date":"2017-08-05T17:38:00","date_gmt":"2017-08-05T17:38:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/silverknife.co.uk\/bonding\/?p=1018"},"modified":"2021-05-01T08:21:45","modified_gmt":"2021-05-01T08:21:45","slug":"the-man-with-the-golden-gun-1974","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/silverknife.co.uk\/bonding\/2017\/08\/05\/the-man-with-the-golden-gun-1974\/","title":{"rendered":"The Man With the Golden Gun (1974)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Oh God it’s happening agaaaaain!
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Note: Today is National Margarita Day. However, Bond never drank a Margarita, and the Bonding Command Centre is devoid of tequila. Which is why this Martini has lime and salt on the brim. Time will tell whether this was a brilliant innovative tribute, or\u2026otherwise.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Further note: It was otherwise. O_o<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

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Our scene opens on this nubile temptress who has foolishly chosen to sunbathe directly underneath Godzilla.
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Oh good, a little person who is a butler. I’m sure this situation will be treated with the delicate sensitivity these films are known for.
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A wild Christopher Lee emerges from the sea. Let’s pause and enjoy the lower back and elbow hair of one of our nation’s finest actors.
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He also has three nipples, which I seem to remember is supposed to indicate powers of witchcraft? If you think this is slightly bizarre, bear in mind that in the book Scaramanga’s file at MI6 clearly states that he has been identified as a closet homosexual due to the fact that he can’t whistle…
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Not going to lie, I kind of lust after Scaramanga’s beach house :\/
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When under attack, the beach house converts automatically into…a photo lab. For some reason.
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…and then a terrible ghost train. Apparently when you’ve got three nipples and can kill anyone you like, you don’t actually need rational explanations.
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We’re right there with you in bafflement, Mr Cartoonishly Stereotypical Mafioso.
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Just to catch you up on the plot so far, Christopher Lee is a three-nippled assassin whose midget butler with the outrrrrageous accent has hidden his golden gun in the mouth of a stuffed crow in order to add an element of challenge to his battle with a ridiculous mafia stereotype in a funhouse maze in his beach house.
Well, it’s been a good run here on Bonding but I think we’re done here. Goodnight everyone.
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